Melburnians suffering from fungal fling

Funky times have fallen on Melbourne residents, as a viral foot infection causes victims to have irregular spasms that resemble dancing.

‘Hoptilis Grovosis’ is a rare condition with mysterious origins. It is widely believed that it was carried over by a tainted container of fruit although these reports haven’t been substantiated. The infection, related to to better-known Onychomycosis, is relatively harmless, as it outwardly only infects the feet with a red rash that causes minor itching. However, the condition also confuses the nerves in the feet and disrupts electrical signals, causing random spasmodic outbreaks that last for up to thirty seconds or more. Both feet will randomly push off the ground, with the victim unable to control their actions.

The process has been described by onlookers as similar to the Scottish highland fling; as the electrical signals are so active, it is rare for a person to lose their footing, creating a situation in which a person must dance or purposely tilt themselves over until the spasms are over.

The phenomenon has created a number of viral sensations on YouTube, including one popular case in which the afflicted person had an attack whilst watching a hip-hop street performance. The dancers joined in on the act, breaking into an erratic dance style that has been labelled ‘The Fungal Fling’ by a number of internet groups.

The symptoms vanish within a few days but it’s recommended sufferers visit a prominent podiatrist Cheltenham resident trust. “People who find themselves with this condition should keep weight off their feet as much as possible. Heavy exercise such as running and walking quickly have been known to aggravate it, but it can really be triggered at any time. Plenty of rest and medicated cream is the key to fungal nail treatment in Cheltenham.”

There is, as of yet, no cure for the disease except allowing the immune system time to recover, though test results have suggested that soaking the feet in warm baby oil is a viable method of halting the itching.

“I just want this to be over,” says Sally Ferrell, who has been suffering for over a week. “I started twitching while I was carrying the shopping last night. Ended up dancing all over my eggs. It’s a little bit liberating, but there’s no control.”