Temporary Landlubbers

Oh sure, Aquatic Man comes out and suddenly everyone wants to rent boats and buy boats and debate who has the best outboard motor servicing Melbourne has to offer. Like they can be part of the cool person squad, at least for a little while. The fad will fade; I just have to wait it out.

Do people in other hobbies have to deal with this? I know after that fish movie was released all the kids were flushing their pets down the toilet, and after that hungry games movie came out everyone took up archery for all of a few days. I guess all the people into archery got annoyed at that one. It’s just that I, a true seafarer since I was born, have to watch all these uninitiated landlubbers swanning about on their boats without a single clue of what goes where. I bet most of them couldn’t even point to the quarterdeck if I paid them a thousand doubloons. Not that I’d give away my doubloons, because I found them in a sunken wreck and I’m quite proud of the fact that I got there before the Treasure Hunters did. They’re still scouring the bay looking for that exact treasure.

Still, at least they’re proper seafarers. They know where to go for anchor winch installations in Melbourne, they know how to operate an anchor winch, they can hoist a mainsail and swab the deck like back in the old days. This new breed are clueless. They probably think that you can just park a boat like a car, roll the windows up and leave it. The barnacles that’ll be waiting for them when they come back – if they come back – and that’s only if they’ve thought to secure their boat properly (unlikely).

I mean, I’d teach them, as a wise mentor of the sea. But not only are they treating the ocean with disrespect, they’ll probably get seasick a few times and go back to their motor vehicles. These land-dwellers always do.

-Poseidon, but not that Poseidon obviously.